Quick Draw----Successful Defense of Silver Lake South 2011 GGW Event No. 7 by Nate Curry

[Jay Bee]

Quick Draw----Successful Defense of Silver Lake South
2011 GGW Event No. 7
 
Plaintiff;                 South Suburban Golf Association of Chicago; commonly known as Golfers Gone Wild        
 
Vs.
 
Defendant;            Mr. Perry Gunn, also known as Quick Draw
 
COMPLAINT
 
Whereas; these Plaintiffs, known to all as Golfers Gone Wild, come now as a class before you today, to allege that the Defendant, on Saturday, May 14, did willfully, with malice and forethought, hit, employ and otherwise use a #1 driver golf club, hereinafter referred to by model number T-11, of questionable legality, in opposition to and non-conformance with, USGA guidelines.
 
On that day, Quick Draw used said driver, time after time hitting 300+ yard drives, while successfully defending his 2010 GGW Title at Silver Lake Country Club, South Course. Quick Draw shot 86 net 66 and won for the third time out of 7 GGW Tour Events of the 2011 season.
 
Several other persons were in witness. Lucky Lefty (85), Steady Eddie (87) and Bigg Dogg (89) all shot outstanding scratch and net rounds under par.  However, as unindicted co-conspirators, sworn testimony from these three cannot be accepted. Although no charges are being pursued, they were seen actively engaged in the questionable practice of retroactive scorekeeping. (We still don’t have a definite score for that group on hole #14). GGW suspects collusion between the successful Defendant and those finishing 2nd and 3rd; a conspiracy that may have extended to the skins game. This is evidenced by Lucky Lefty winning 6 skins, Steady Eddie taking 5 skins and Quick Draw with 4 skins on the day.
Lonnie refused to testify even though this conspiracy may have caused his birdie at #12 to be pushed.
 
Five other players were asked to recuse themselves as witnesses to this compliant. 
 
Silent Assassin (net 76)       - Recently on trial, with result hung jury, for similar allegation of oversized driver
Rifleman (net 76)                 - Still under investigation for carrying an excessive number of woods in his bag
Double D (net 76)                - Unjust enrichment notice on file, won 3 skins with a thinking man’s par on #4
Hawk (net 78)                       - Playing in his first GGW Event of 2011, has no legal standing to render judgment
Cadillac Blue (net 79)          - Made open confession of and stated intent to break USGA conforming rules
 
Plaintiffs hereby pray that this Court provide relief and enjoin Quick Draw and/or any player from use of non-conforming, incredible distance T-11 clubs in the pursuit of GGW Honors, Awards and Cash Prizes.
 
JUDGES’ RULING
 
These are the Stipulated Facts of this case: 1) Defendant admits to no wrongdoing. 2) There is direct evidence that Defendant’s old driver was cracked in a GGW Event and required replacement. 3) All of the parties on that May 14th day are either accused by or otherwise recused from this compliant and 4) Several character witnesses have filed amicus curiae (friends of the court) briefs on behalf of Mr. Gunn. To wit, and as such, this Kangaroo Court rules in favor of the Defendant. Any player is hereby authorized to and may use said T-11 Driver, in any sanctioned GGW Event.
 
This compliant is dismissed without prejudice. Although, the Court encourages you Golfers Gone Wild to stop Quick Draw from winning 2011 Player of the Year, legitimately in competition and not thorough frivolous litigation. Further, the Court notes that GGW will have another opportunity to do just that on Sunday, May 22 at Cardinal Creek Golf Course. In the meanwhile, get a Golf Instructor, not a Lawyer. This case is closed.